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who cursed me then cured me

by future star

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1.
someday i'm not gonna know the password to your wifi and i'll have to ask somebody or maybe you but maybe we will not be speaking or it's just awkward and that's not easy i know that the future is difficult to predict however, forever is highly unlikely and probability i won't know what you are up to i might bump in to you on the street when you ask what's new there will be too much to say hoping everything is as it should be someday i will learn from my mistakes we are together forever right now i will try hard to embrace what i'm lucky to have
2.
something used to fit but it won't fit anymore learning isn't comfortable it's sometimes a bore practicing a thing you haven't practiced before i forget the reason why i couldn't tell a secret to you patterns keep repeating think i've done this thing already feeling tired of the way i make things harder for myself feel like you are getting tired of the way i make things harder for myself if i could i would i can't so i won't i try all the time all i do is try
3.
tap out 02:32
waiting for something to happen and something to end wasting my energy a slow leak of oxygen i make an effort to live in the moment i have been carrying bricks in my pockets turn off the kitchen light when you go to sleep at night try to make all interactions have personal meaning try to remember each person i'm meeting my mind is a room and the room has a ceiling i don't have room to process these feelings blocks of time all blacked out i gave in i tapped out
4.
take apart a piece of clothing learning how it fits together recreate it from a picture if i think i can remember i don't really know how to do this at all i don't want you to look back decide that this was just some kind of experience bad or good and i said we are good at talking i don't wanna hurt you/don't wanna make me cry sometimes it feels like you're making me choose between a rock and a hard place between myself and you
5.
i wake up it's hard to get out of bed sometimes i help myself get out of bed i look in the mirror sometimes it's hard to look in the mirror it's hard i listen to crying i wear what i wanna wear i tell myself i'm doing okay i distract myself with little things sometimes i need you but sometimes i need me i get home i cry when i get home it's been a long day i let myself cry when i get home i make myself dinner i let myself take it slow i take it slow i listen to carly i make myself comfy i tell myself i'm doing okay i write a song when i feel like i wanna and sometimes i need you but sometimes i need me
6.
i wanna travel back in time and tell you this joke that i made up it feels like i'm holding on to a secret that's indecipherable to anyone but me and you maybe i'm wrong about this i wanna travel back in time and tell you this joke that i made up
7.
video a telephone a message on a screen see your face i hear your voice i get the things you mean you say when i turn it off i'm still inside your head so when all the lights are out i think of you instead i am in your arms you sleep right beside me keep me safe from all the things that i worry i did wrong i count my breaths til i fall asleep fall asleep i am working on the moments when i need to leave i've been making choices things i want and things i need i am always learning how to take a little break you remind me that there is a breath i need to take you remind me i should turn off the lights and i close my eyes and remember that sometimes when i'm sleeping you will come to me in a dream in a dream
8.
sometimes you wake up suddenly there you open up your eyes suddenly there's a star suddenly you know you've been working so hard light in the distance isn't so far sometimes i'm amazed at the things i can do take a moment think of how things can be new sometimes positivity doesn't feel like it's true sometimes it does i feel that way too sometimes things work i hope that they do i have done it once i know i'll do it once again once again i'll do it i can do it once again sometimes you wake up suddenly there you are open up your eyes suddenly there's a star suddenly you know you've been working so hard light in the distance isn't so far

about

a journey through.....my feelings!!!!

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released December 4, 2017

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future star Vancouver, British Columbia

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